Response 1

Good job on your use of imaginary and use of the lenses of the two readings. However you should add more details of the pool in your intro so the readers can get a sense of the scenery. Maybe include the details of the pool in earlier paragraphs rather than waiting  towards to the end. There is a lot of observation in the paper rather what the assignment. The last paragraph should be your third paragraph rather then the conclusion.Try to be more depth when involving the lenses, think outside of the box. Try to get the readers attention, by seeing something they wouldn't think of Good examples though when using the lenses of Frank Norris and Mesa Trail. Overall just proofread your paper and try to put it in chronological order so it flows nicely. But nice job on your paper.